i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
