Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
