So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
