clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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