I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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