So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
