Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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