Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
