I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
