i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
