I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
