he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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