We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
