ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
