So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
