i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
