remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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