Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize