"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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