Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
