He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
