she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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