I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
love makes seman taste better
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize