that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
