this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
