So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
