hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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