i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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