I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
