Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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