Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
