no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
