Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
