absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
