Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
