I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
