I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
