i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
