so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
