And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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