hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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