It's like God shit irony all over that family
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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