at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
