Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
