Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
