Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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