I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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