I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
