Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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