'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
